so i have to write whatever im feeling today, here. and that is, if i am that 'rajin' to blog everyday.

i should not be sorry if u are annoyed with my life.

yesterday had gone, so does today. tomorrow's coming fast and i'm still thinking about everything.

why is it really hard for us to look for tomorrow? to look forward?

life is about moving on.

but how is it done exactly?

i'll always have a specific resolutions for everyday, in almost everything i do.

like for example : i have to update my blog. i have to write something.

which i haven't done.. for quite a few yesterdays. and it brings me down.

not totally but yeah, it is affecting.

every nite, since the breakup, wasn't easy. and i know its been really hard on him too. but he managed to find a replacement, and so do i. but, it seems like these replacement wasn't...suffice enough. sometimes i still longs for him, instead of he. 

sometimes i wish i was talking to him, instead of he. 

sometimes i wish i was eating with him, instead of he.

sometimes, i wish i was with him, instead of he.

ITS NOT HE WASN'T GOOD, BUT HE WAS NOT HIM.

and sometimes i couldn't put up with THAT reason.

which leads me to breakups, one after another.

so, tell me, why is life is about moving on when u are not really moving?

why do we keep on WISHING, EXPECTING things would turn out to be just the way we'd wanted?

everyday i wish i would move on, start something new.

and everyday i failed myself.

it is affecting me everyday and every nite.

and. every. second. life. brings. me. down. to. my. knees.

everyday, every second, for every breath i took.

im sorry Jesus. please guide my heart to Your path, Your plans. 

i do not have faith for my ownself and neither am i strong in my faith..

but i still have faith for You at least. and its wearing. 

im sorry Jesus. but please..